Piercee

When I was reading the comments on this blog, I stumbled across this:

At first, I blatantly ignored the content of the message and had some sort of grammar-related meltdown.

"Is this even English?"

 After taking some time to recover, I took upon myself the difficult task of translating this message into a readable language.

When I figured out that it was an inconsequential message and not, like, the cure for cancer or something, I was furious that I actually took the time to decipher it. (Side note: is there a form of OCD exclusively for grammar? I think I have that. I need serious help.)

I was too lazy to draw a picture for my time wasting rage, so I just drew my hair on the table flipping meme.

Then I realized that if I just drew a picture of her face and put it on my blog, I could make an entire post out of it and ignore my blog-posting duties for another week or two.

Sweet.

Procrastinating is awesome.

Look, Piercee. Your face is on my blog now.

Lazy Post

Earless, and Still Dead Sexy

Sometimes, when I'm procrastinating, I do stupid stuff on the internet. I know you all know what I'm talking about, because you're probably procrastinating right now while reading this. Don't lie.

Anyway, I stumbled upon a website called Anaface (http://www.anaface.com/) that supposedly rates your "facial beauty" based on how symmetrical it is or whatever. I personally think it's ridiculous, because when I look at someone, I don't think "Man, that person is attractive. Their innerocular distance is like the PERFECT length for their eyes." But whatever. Maybe some of you do. Creeps.

Since I really, REALLY didn't want to write an essay about how European monarchs used the sciences to enhance their power in the 16th century, I decided to kill some more time and try it out.

Apparently, it doesn't compensate for cartoons.

 I feel like that should be considered some sort of racism, you know? And furthermore, what about those of us that don't have noses, like Voldemort? Or ears? Are some artists considered prettier than Van Gogh, simply because they have the advantage of having more ears?

Disclaimer: no copyright intended. This is Van Gogh's drawing of Van Gogh, which is some awesome Goghception, and you guys know I can't draw anyway so it's kind of obvious. But if you steal those frowny faces, I'll sue. I'm pretty sure I can do that. I don't really know how the law works.

Prejudice is wrong, guys. 
Van Gogh was probably friggin attractive, even with one ear. I'm sure he would have girls lining up to date him, except for the whole insanity thing. Also, there's the fact that he likes to give away necessary appendages and organs as tokens of affection, instead of, you know, flowers. Although, that does add a little bit of spontaneity into his relationships, I'm sure.

"You'll never guess what I got you this time. No really. Guess."

I think this should be the start of some really super touching anti bullying campaign that will be featured in elementary schools for a week and then be completely forgotten by the next recess. Everyone is beautiful, despite the number of ears or noses they have. You're beautiful even if you are a cartoon or a dog or a really shiny rock in someone's back yard. Even if you're a really dull rock in somebody's backyard, there is something beautiful about you. You can still be earless and dead sexy. You know what? Work that one ear or noseless face or cartoon hand with freakishly weird fingers. You are freaking BEAUTIFUL.

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A girl actually said this in class today.

Ladies and gentlemen, the human race is declining faster than Gangnam Style's popularity, and there is something inherently wrong with that.